Phil and Bob's Frozen Screengrab Extravaganza

"In the world of captioning, frozen screengrabs are considered especially heinous.
At Caption This! these vicious screengrabs are captioned by an elite squad of dedicated cappers.

These are their captions."



BurkeDevlin:
Anyone heard the German version of the Lumberjack Song? "Ich felle baume, ich ess mein brot, ich geh auf das WC. Am Mittwoch geh ich shopping..."


fat_josh:
Jim and Terry's household appliances, buy today.


Agent_Moldy:
"I'm Dennis Franz, & I'm gonna show you my ass now."
.oO{Dear God! I think it's time I called "Mother"...}
(H'lo, everyone)


Coiren:
After only 24 hours, the lifesize statues of Rob Lowe and Dennis Franz were left mutilated and marked by pigeons.


E_B_A:
"So... how long have we been standin' here?"
"Eight hours..."
"Wanna move?" "Nope. You?"
"Nah..."
"Those brownies were loaded."
"Yep."


E_B_A:
Quick! Get the casting plaster!


cScott:
"Das ist der brokken shkreengrabben und est BurkeDevlin kapping de Zorkken Ein und das Adventur! Hehehe..."
"God, please kill me... please..."


Coiren:
Me oh my, I actually enjoy this whole nature deal. I could just stand here... ALL DAY...


E_B_A:
(Hey cScott! Yog! TVGM! Looks like at least we can post now- last night you couldn't even do that)


E_B_A:
"Go ahead folks... reach for the 'Refresh' button... but it'll just be the two of us starin' back atcha every time... heh heh... my deal with Satan is done."


BurkeDevlin:
I found the Great Underground Empire, so I'll be seeing you later.Just open the kitchen window in the white house, and look underneath the rug for the trapdoor.


cScott:
"C'mon Bob. Can't I do just a little fake German? It amuses me."
"But then bodily noises amuse you, Phil"
"Yeah! Wanna hear one?"
"Oh dear..."


BurkeDevlin:
Okay, SIMON SAYS "Start moving."


Coiren:
Is the Sci-Fi channel on pause or something???


BurkeDevlin:
A LUMBERJACK???? What's wrong with us today for not thinking of that earlier? o/I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lava'tree..../o


Coiren:
My goodness these two love posing. They must be those rugged mountain men you see in beer commercials.


cScott:
"Ich bin ein brokken shkreengrabben und ist das Hagablab! Hehehe..."
"Phil, what is with the fake German?"
"I don't know."
"Well stop it."


Yog_Sothoth:
"Damn! My merkin fell off!"


cScott:
"We're never gonna get out of here, are we, Bob?"
"It doesn't look good, Phil"
"I...I... can't take it anymore..." <sobs>


Coiren:
Yes, even Dr. Evil's right hand man, Number Two, was once a lumberjack.


BurkeDevlin:
You weren't supposed to EAT the bread, you were supposed to leave a trail of crumbs for us to get OUT of here!


cScott:
"Ich bin ein Hagablaber... Hehehe..."
"Phil, for the love of God... you're killin' me here..."


BurkeDevlin:
It's my fault. I was trying to free associate lost-in-the-woods references, and Zork 1 and Adventure popped in my head.


TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
So, I'll meet you over at the food court in an hour... Don't spend all your allowance!


tiggernpooh:
(well, i gotta go, but you folks have made some good fun of this. thanks all.)


DarkOracle:
o/"Nobody loves me everybody hates me i'm goin in the garden to eat worms,..."
"SHUT UP!!!"
(gotta go, be strong)


BurkeDevlin:
>ENTER THE RIVER
You bump your head on the river as you attempt this.
[Now I'm even riffing on Infocom bugs]


tiggernpooh:
(LOL, scott. burke, I forgot, did you start this "adventure" theme?)


Oiweth:
"It's good Bugsy poured cement up to our waists, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it's -real- good, Norman."


BurkeDevlin:
>PLUGH
The Sci-Fi Channel disappears in a puff of orange smoke.


cScott:
>LOOK
The dense undergrowth prevents lookward movement (the hell?)


BurkeDevlin:
Somewhere nearby is Colossal Cave, where it is rumoured that some have found fortunes in jewels and gold, but others have never returned.


tiggernpooh:
"Be truthful. Do these pants make my butt look too big?"
"I try not to notice."
(nice one, caramel)


cScott:
>GO NORT
The dense undergrowth prevents nortward movement
>GO SOUTH
The dense undergrowth prevents soutward movement


tiggernpooh:
XYZZY
Nothing happens


DarkOracle:
"Has it occured to anyone that this ordeal may be proff that the Matrix really exsists?"


Yog_Sothoth:
"Shush, there's a merkin out there."


BurkeDevlin:
The map clearly said there was an X around here somewhere, but all I see is leaves.


Caramel:
"Our next two models are wearing the latest from the Fall Collection...that's nice...work it, fellas!"


cScott:
"Hehehe... Das Hagablab ist freezen ein der shkreengrabben und es ist brokken! Hehehe..."
"Phil, if I could move, you would be so dead..."


tiggernpooh:
"Please, someone out there. Please hack this site and at least change my tie."


BurkeDevlin:
>INVENTORY
You are carrying a sword, a brass lantern
>GO EAST
dThe dense undergrowth prevents eastward movement.


cScott:
"Bob, I've never heard of Hagablab."
"Oh course not, Phil. They made it up."
"Why?"
"Who knows?... Now hush..."


BurkeDevlin:
I go through a month's worth of Prozork every time the screen freezes like this. Maybe I should try some of cScott's Hagablab.


cScott:
"Look, I've been typing "Ctrlaltdel" over and over, but the blasted machine won't restart!" (thx, tiggernpooh)


tiggernpooh:
(YEAH, Sightings!) Next on Sightings: Exclusive footage of two guys standing in the woods, unmoving, hour after hour...


DarkOracle:
o/ "Oh, sit on my face and tell me that you love me..." (there you go monty python)


BurkeDevlin:
Why is it so hard for somebody at Sci-Fi to just Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and restart this program?


cScott:
They stood there for days, waiting for just one captioner to post the Magic Caption that would break the spell and set them free...


tiggernpooh:
(cScott and burke, keep up the good work)


BurkeDevlin:
We've got the shovels, and you tell me you forgot to bring the body??


cScott:
The competition to be the new host of 'Sightings' is pretty tough...


DarkOracle:
this screengrab is the equivlent of Kriptonite to captioners.


croe_sirveaux:
SCI-FI, EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH, YOU DESTROY!!!


cScott:
Groundhog Day 2: The Captioning...


BurkeDevlin:
"I'm Inspector Fox of the Light Entertainment Police, Jungle Division, special Flying Squad."
"Flying Fox of the Yard??"
(needed a Python cap in here)


tiggernpooh:
"Is SG0040 gone? Can we move now?"
"SHUT UP, idiot! He may still be watching!"


croe_sirveaux:
Auditions for "Mannequin II"


cScott:
"Y'know Bob, I looked up Weird Al once... but he just got down off the ladder and told me to stop staring... Hehehe..."
"Grow up, Phil..."


BurkeDevlin:
SciFi ux, SciFi Prime sux, CaptionThis sux, cancelling MST3K sux, everything about SciFi sux except Dark Shadows, and we can't even see that!! (That felt good!)


Agent_SG0040:
I'm leaving here untill this gets fixed. I'm looking up Weird Al.


cScott:
Now back to "Psycho 7: Norman Stands Around"...


JosetteCollins:
"What time did Dr. Lang say we should meet him here?"
"Uhhh, four o'clock...FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON!"
(Couldn't resist!)


DarkOracle:
o/"Id like to teach the world a song it goes like this,The scifi chan sucks,the prod mang is a bicth"


Agent_SG0040:
SCIFI SUCKS!


BurkeDevlin:
Had this been an actual screengrab, you would have been instructed where to cap in your area.


cScott:
Chris Marker's followup to "La Jetee'" was a bit more experimental... 3 hours of the exact same still photograph...


cScott:
Who's the girl, Norman?... uh... wait... I mean... uh... Who's the old man, Norman?...


DarkOracle:
"Man those Manson groupies are getting REALLY scary!"


tiggernpooh:
Here we see SciFi's technical staff out on an extended lunch. Had they bothered to take their PAGERS....


Agent_SG0040:
You're allways such a fussy young man, don't want no captain crunch, don't want no rasin bran don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan? EAT IT!


cScott:
"I bet it would freak those captioners out, if suddenly one of us moved..."


Oiweth:
test (hi all)


tiggernpooh:
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?"


Yog_Sothoth:
"Norman, have you had one of those days when you're not so, ya know, fresh?"


Agent_SG0040:
"Hey, Steve, Why does Leela on Futurama have one eye?"
"Because she's a cyclops, Phil."
"Okay, Steve."


BurkeDevlin:
At least, Linda, the caption file will only take about 5 minutes to assemble today. Maybe I'll have more time to finish proofreading Kay's DS Sim logs.


tiggernpooh:
"So, what would you be doing right now, if you weren't stuck in this screengrab?"


Agent_SG0040:
I'm going to type out The Simpsons theme. Dun Dun Dun Dee Dun Dun Dun Doo Dee Dee Doo!


tiggernpooh:
(very good, Burke, ...the light is better...)


NurseNoir:
Our operators are standing by to take your call. No really... *standing*...


Agent_SG0040:
Wild Wild West... aw damn... Men In Black... Damn! I did it again!


cScott:
"Hey uh, Bob?"
"Just give it a rest, Phil."
"But, Bob, I was just wonderin'---"
<SMACK!>
"Oh... uh, nevermind then..."


Bobustud:
This is my only line.


Agent_SG0040:
Yo Quero Taco Bell!


tiggernpooh:
"oh, yeah! Yeah! I've got a good game! Try not to smile! First one to smile, loses. Starting NOW...."


BurkeDevlin:
"JFK Jr. crashed over water. Why are we looking here?"
"The light is better here."


cScott:
"Oh, and Bob?"
"For the love of Pete, what is it now, Phil?!"
"I was just thinkin' about these captioners..."
"Phil, just leave the captioners alone."


Agent_SG0040:
I feel like we're watching a Taco Bell commircial on a continus loop.


BurkeDevlin:
"Let's play a game."
"Okay, make a sentence out of the following words: Face, Sodding, Your, Shut.


Agent_SG0040:
"I see poop coming out of the ass of the ass."
"Yeh, Heh, Heh! It's like the ass...of the ass... the poop!"


cScott:
"And, Bob?"
"What now, Phil?"
"What about 'cScott'?"
"What do ya mean?"
"Well, I mean is it like 'c. scott' or like 'see scott'. I mean, which is it?"


Agent_SG0040:
The west wasn't that wild, it was pretty tame.


cScott:
"Uh, Bob?"
"Yes, Phil..."
"I was just standin' here thinkin'..."
"Yeah?"
"What would a Turkey Volume Guessing Man DO exactly?"
"Uh, I dunno..."


tiggernpooh:
"Great view, huh?"
"Shouldn't we be getting back to fix the screengrab?"
"Who's gonna notice?"


cScott:
"Well, I'm just glag we got away from that foggy staircase..."
"Oh sure, that's fine for you, but my back is killin' me..."


greyrose43:
This sucks...I knew we should have gone to White Castle.


Agent_SG0040:
Wild, Wild West! When I stroll into the Wild, Wild West! When I bounce into t Will Smith is such a bitch...Wild, Wild West...


TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
I don't just like cheese as a food item, I want it to marry me! I want to be Missus cheese!


tiggernpooh:
"So, if the plane went down in the water, why are we looking here?"
"um, what?"


cScott:
"Hey, Bob"
"Yeah, Phil?"
"Didya notice how the screengrab's frozen..."
"Yeah"
"...but the adverts are still working?"


TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
I mean, I really REALLY like cheese! A LOT!


Agent_SG0040:
I'm just waiting for them to scream "LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!"


BurkeDevlin:
"How about a game to pass the time?"
"Okay, let's see who can spot the most out-of-state license plates."


JosetteCollins:
Looks like an inside job compliments of deadlyringer.


cScott:
This is my screengrab. There are many like it, but this one is mine.


Agent_SG0040:
Oh crule fate! Saturn rules me! I am part of the Sci-Fi channel!


TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
Guy would have to be some kind o' nut to drag somebody out here, hey, Normy? "uh..yeah, I guess *sigh*"


tiggernpooh:
(Police Squad, cScott?.... oh, YEAH)


cScott:
Norman Bates teams up with Edward Woodward in "The Psycholiser"...


Yog_Sothoth:
"I smell cheese."
"Oh sorry, I was trying to hold it in."


Agent_SG0040:
Did you know I'm cursed? I'm a Capricorn and Saturn is my ruler.


Hireling:
And finally, it's the cast of Hardcastle and McCormick 2000! o/ Ride! Ridin' like the demon that drives your dreams! o/ (thank you, and goodnight!)


cScott:
"Hey! Der Shkreengrabben ist das brokken!"
"Will you please stop saying that?"
"Why?"
"It's annoying."
"More or less than the frozen image?"
"Less."


Yog_Sothoth:
Ambigous Gay Duo.


BurkeDevlin:
As I say, if Sci-Fi is going to give us a stuck picture, I wish they'd at least make it something funny, like a guy with a fake arrow in his head.


Agent_SG0040:
I think Sci-Fi did this just so we'll get bored and go see "Star Wars: Episode One".


cScott:
I keep expecting to see the closing credits of "Police Squad"...


BurkeDevlin:
What kinda State Fair is this with no Porta-Potty? We've been searching for 2 hours?


Hireling:
Hey little girl, would you like to see my rash?


cScott:
Look at us! We're ALL deadlyringer now!... (god forbid...)


Yog_Sothoth:
"Searching for evil?"
"No search for a way outta this screengrab."


BurkeDevlin:
VW tracks. Two, maybe three days old. In that direction.


TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
I like cheese


Agent_SG0040:
If this was a re-occoring screengrab of Steve Guttenberg, I could come up with better jokes.


tiggernpooh:
"And the living room would be right here."
"Where would MOTHER's room be?"


Hireling:
Hey little girl, would you like a salted nut roll.


BurkeDevlin:
Don't bother, Linda. I've captured ONE picture, and entitled it stuck1.jpg. I'll redo the caption file to use JUST this one.


BurkeDevlin:
o/You're still usin' a 286, don't make me laugh. How long's it take you to boot Windows? A day and a half? /o


cScott:
"Ein schprekken too soonen. Das shkreengrabben IST das brokken!"
"Do you actually have any idea what you're saying?"
"Uh, not really, no..."


Yog_Sothoth:
"Gerbil Alert! Gerbil Alert!"


Agent_SG0040:
Dr. Evil and Seth Green take off in the forest searching for Austin Powers.


Hireling:
The man on the left is wearing womens underwear, the man on the right is trapped with the man on the left.


BurkeDevlin:
o/ You think your Commodore 64 is really neato. What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito? /o


ABarnabas:
i can't believe i woke up for this, hello all


DarkOracle:
All was silence except for the sweet soft sound of elves playing poker in the backround.


cScott:
"Ah! Der shkreengrabben ist nacht das brokken!"
"What?"
"Nothing... nevermind..."


BurkeDevlin:
Anybody heard Weird Al's new Pentium rap song? I want to sing it at Sci-Fi somehow.


JosetteCollins:
Great, G! I'll capture today's pix for us. In the meantime....{S shpritz


Hireling:
Anthony Perkins, has somehow masterd an impression of a tampon immediately before insertion.


BurkeDevlin:
I dunno Mr. Frodo, I don't think these disguises will help us sneak into Mordor.


Agent_SG0040:
"You know, Wild Wild West wasn't half as good as Men In Black, ID4 and Bad Boys."
"All three movies suck."


TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
Feel like we're being punished for not being excited enough about G vs E or the Sci Fi presentation of "The Cube"


Hireling:
Help, we're in another dimension!!!


BurkeDevlin:
Linda, I read the Dark Shadows Daily Updates for today's episodes, and EVERYTHING was funny. I scribbled down 25 potential caps that I could have used today.


Agent_SG0040:
Ice Cube and Busta Rimes, only on the Sci-Fi channel.


BurkeDevlin:
I don't think this is the bus stop, Sam.


tiggernpooh:
"SO you say that Jar Jar Binks ran through here in the company of some long haired guy in a dress?"


TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
"Sci Fi. ooooh, your precious screengrabber isn't working? I'll be sure to get right to work on THAT!"


Agent_SG0040:
Pencicola: Fried Wings Of Cournel Sanders.


EpsilonZero:
if we ignore it, it's certain to go away


Yog_Sothoth:
(Nope NurseNoir. The record is three days. This particular screen grab came up an hour ago.)


Hireling:
One of these actors has a saggy diaper that leaks, can you figure out which one?


BurkeDevlin:
We take you to our presentation of "A Light in the Forest", already in progress. (That IS a real book, BTW).


TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
I gotta catch 'em all!


JosetteCollins:
Place your orders now for captures by DS Vicki!


Agent_SG0040:
Look everyone! It's Ricky Martin and that... other porto rican guy.


NurseNoir:
New at Sears! Casual good looks for both psychiatrist and psychotic killer! It's the softer side of Sears! [TVGM! Hireling!]


DarkOracle:
o/ "The Neverending Screen Grab ahhahhahhahh...." (sorry)


Yog_Sothoth:
And now for Light Shadows...


Hireling:
o/ Cause they're cousins/Identical cousins all the waaaay! Yeah, boogie!


tiggernpooh:
"I KNOW!! Let's pretend this is Dark Shadows!"
"Well, sure, but I get to be Barnabas. YOU can be one of the ditzy females."


Agent_SG0040:
Dumb and Dumber.


BurkeDevlin:
Aieeeeeeeee!! Linda, I need you! Today's episodes are great capping fodder! If you'll do your video capture magic, I'll make a capfile after the fact.


Hireling:
oil can...oil can


NurseNoir:
[Is this a record for a stuck screengrab? It has to have been like this since last night!]


Agent_SG0040:
This is a real good time for jokes about Ricky Martin and the Latino invasion.


TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
Damn sissy kids scared of some hokey folk tale... Well, let's get out of here!


Hireling:
Hey, you ever have a deja vu? I don't know Joel, whats that?


saint_marie:
"So, how do you like this new forest wallpaper I put up." "Marvelous, but I can't find the damn door." (frozen AGAIN?)


Agent_SG0040:
IT'S THE SAME FRAMEGRAB!


tiggernpooh:
"I'm thinking that the atrium would go here, with a view of the gazebo straight ahead."


Yog_Sothoth:
"You know it would have been real hard to stand in one place for 16 hours if they hadn't nail my feet to the floor."


Agent_SG0040:
"...Now let's go home, watch Univision and Telemundo."



Go back to the Phil and Bob Project


"The Phil and Bob Project", "Phil and Bob's Frozen Screengrab Extravaganze", "The Phil and Bob Webcam", "Phil and Bob's Holiday Photos", "Ask Phil and Bob" and the contents of these pages are copyright ©1999-2007 cScott.
Archived captions courtesy of BurkeDevlin.
All images are used for satirical purposes only.

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